My Biggest Regret Isn’t What I Did—It’s What I Didn’t Do

The Golden Age of Gaming

Some of the best moments of my life were spent in front of a screen, headset on, controller in hand. During my late childhood and teen years, gaming wasn’t just a hobby of mine, it was a daily ritual. Especially during the COVID-19 lockdowns in Grade 9, when school was cancelled for months, I found myself playing for 14 to 18 hours a day! And I wasn’t alone. All of my friends were doing the same, and together we had the time of our lives. We laughed, competed against each other, and stayed up until sunrise more times than I can count. Those were some of the most carefree and genuinely fun times I’ve ever had, and I wouldn’t trade those memories for anything.

When Fun Becomes Obsession

But as time went on and life returned to normal, I kept playing, nowhere near the same 14-18 hours a day I spent during Covid, but still for many hours a day. However, it didn’t feel the same. Gaming to me became less about having fun with friends and more about winning. I started grinding for hours to climb leaderboards in first-person shooters, trying to prove that I could be the best. I made it to the top of the global rankings in many of those games, and for a while, that achievement meant a lot to me.

Looking back now, though, I realize how much time I poured into that pursuit. Thousands of hours spent chasing digital dominance. Meanwhile, I still had deep passions like economics, politics and law. I did spend a ton of time learning about these subjects, often watching the news and reading about them for hours and hours each day. But what if I had given those interests the same energy I gave to gaming? What if I had traded just half of that gaming time for reading, writing, and building a better foundation for the career I wanted to pursue?

That’s where my regret lives. Not in the time I spent having fun with friends, but in the time I kept playing long after fun stopped being the primary motivator.

The Cost of Time

This isn’t a complaint about where I am today. I’m proud of who I’m becoming. But I often wonder how much further I could be if I had realized sooner just how much I was giving up by spending so much of my time in a fake world. Every hour I gave to chasing virtual wins was an hour I didn’t invest in the person I truly wanted to become. That’s not something I dwell on with bitterness, but it’s a constant reminder to myself that I must use the time I have left in my young years to position myself as well as I can to grow into the person I aspire to be.

To anyone reading this who’s still in that phase: I’m not here to tell you to quit your hobbies or give up what you love. Just be honest with yourself about why you’re doing something and whether it’s still serving you. Time is your most valuable resource. Spend it on things that move you forward, not just things that keep you occupied.

-Matthew Livingstone